Almost a Week

It's been six days today.

Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr. Newman. They're hoping to be able to get me in for the D&C tomorrow, but it just depends on scheduling and on the hospital surgery room availability I guess.

How am I doing today?

Physically: I dropped E off at a friend's house this morning and almost passed out in her entry hall. I sat down just before everything went completely black. Don't know what that was all about. And then I almost threw up in her driveway because I hadn't taken my Zofran yet. So still definitely suffering from morning sickness. That's one of the worst things. I have all the physical reminders of pregnancy, but nothing to be happy about. It's not fair, really. Oh, and still no signs of miscarrying on my own.

Emotionally: I'm feeling very sad. But I'm feeling some peace today too. I'm not dreading tomorrow with as much fear as I was last night. I know everything will be okay. Today I bought a really nice cheery pot to plant William's yellow tulips in. It's supposed to rain a lot the next few days, so I think I'm going to wait until there's a break in the weather. I don't want to risk them getting killed by the storm. Hopefully I can coax them to continue coming back every spring. My thumbs are definitely not green, so if you have tips, let me know.

Today I almost broke down sobbing in both Wal-Mart and Old Navy. I don't remember why in Wal-Mart. Usually there's not a why. At Old Navy I had the unpleasant job of returning two maternity dresses, one that was for my sister-in-law's wedding in March. They would take one back, but since I bought them online, one I could only return by mail. I just about broke down right there and just told them to take it and get rid of it because I didn't want it in the house anymore, but I decided it wasn't worth wasting $25. I'll have Ben mail it for me. He's a saint. I don't know how he's going through this and watching me go through this and holding it all together. I certainly married the right man.