I'm having a really hard time going into E's room since she still sleeps in the nursery. We just got her a big-girl bed and were going to transition her in April so that she'd have enough time to get detatched from the crib before the baby took it over. Ever since her bed came, I've been thinking of our other room as her room, and the nursery as the baby's room.
Now that the baby is no longer coming, I can't go into that room without crying. Ben has had to get her ready for bed every night because all I can do is get her out of her crib in the morning and plop her back in for her nap. So we decided that we would switch E into the new room this weekend instead. Which meant I had to go to Babies R Us to get a bed rail for her. Only place I could find them around here.
I begged my mom to come with me for moral support. She was going to meet us over there. E and I got there a few minutes before she did, and as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I started to sob. Every car had a mom pulling out an infant carrier with these tiny little babies in them. It was terrible.
I managed not to cry while I returned the little brown herringbone suit I had bought on clearance for Christmas pictures in next December. I managed to hold it together as we steered clear of the maternity section.
Even then, I kept finding myself looking at quilts and decor and thinking, "oh, that would be cute for the baby's room."
And then reality would set in.
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