Naming

Ben got home late from the airport.

I don't think he expected to find me how I was--basically doubled over in grief, sobbing my eyes out. But that's how I felt.

We talked and cried (mostly I cried) until about 3:00am. I wanted to do something to keep the memory of this baby alive, to help us always remember, to make sure they were always part of our family. So we decided to give our baby a name.

Every time I had seen the ultrasound, despite the fact that I desperately wanted another girl, I couldn't help but feel like that little person I was looking at was a boy. I was fairly certain about it.

We sat in silence for a long time. Once in a while one of us would make a comment. Finally it came to me. William. Ben's dad's name, a long traditional family name, and a name that we had always thought we would use as a middle name if we had a boy. It was perfect. We could call him Liam, and if we ever do have a boy, the middle name of William will have even more meaning.

I apologized profusely if our baby was a girl, and said she could be Mina (short for Williamina).

I cried some more, but went to bed at least feeling better knowing that this little person had an identity and wouldn't be forgotten.